After my National Youth Service Corps, I was dead broke.
Broke and building a career in copywriting. I was ravaging books and courses on marketing and copywriting and the bills were piling. So I needed a job that would:
1) Let me return to my study at 3 PM max.
2) Allow me one or two hours during work hours to practice writing headlines and introductions.
3) Not exhaust me physically and mentally.
But I needed it fast. Now.
My pocket was draining fast, and I was getting nervous.
I did not doubt that the job I was looking for was teaching. I also knew I had to negotiate well if it would check all the above boxes.
So I got to work.
I put my copywriting powers into play and arranged a powerful CV. I sold the hell out of me.
I needed to. I needed the job now.
I submitted my CV to exactly 2 schools not far from where I live. In less than 72 hours my phone rang.
The two schools wanted me. They wanted me now. I must be a lucky bastard.
Well, I think the CV was the bastard.
From the CV, they saw a goldmine. They saw a workaholic who graduated as a Chemical Engineer, who could also use Photoshop and CorelDraw; who could also write and sell; who could teach math and computer and chemistry and English; who could also… do anything.
The CV also showed them how those skills could translate to more students and more money and more hell for them. Holy Heavens.
The first school wanted me to teach chemistry and computer. They had fewer students (some classes had 3 students). They had no staff room, which means I’d be a full-time class teacher. Not good for me.
And the pay? It was the shittiest thing I’ve ever had to face since my time on this planet.
25k a month.
No, that’s not in dollars. It’s 25k naira. That’s about 54 dollars. A month. A whole full month. For a graduate. To work full-time.
I screamed and never looked back.
Hey, what’s all the drama, Abbas.
To be candid, I was aware that’s what most schools around pay. The top guys pay 40–50k naira.
I however never expected they would dare mention that amount after discussing what I was bringing to the table.
But who cares, pauper.
I went to the second school.
They wanted me to teach Computer. Only Computer. Good. But that was after a hell of negotiation.
I’d also be in class only 8 hours a week. Perfect.
But earlier I said that 25k naira a month was the shittiest thing I ever faced. No, it wasn’t. It was a huge sum compared to what the second school offered.
After a full-fledged battle, the owner of the school was not going to, for any reason, go beyond 20k naira a month. That’s about 43 dollars a month.
According to her, she’d go out of business if she paid one naira more.
I Took The Job
But before I did, I looked her in the face and told her… ‘You silly scumbag in human skin, we’ll see.’
Anyways, I wish I did.
It was a decision I had to take.
I was getting nervous.
Growing nervous.
And hungry.
That’s how people get offered shits in Nigeria. You’re hungry. You’d do anything. Employers don’t care. 50 million other hungry people are waiting.
And for the next couple of months, I taught Computer Studies.
I kind of enjoyed it though. It was stress-free. I had a maximum of two classes a day. I was always on my computer.
And since I was the computer teacher, it only made sense that I should always be on my computer.
But heck, I was not preparing lesson notes or lesson plans or anything related to the school. I was honing my copywriting skill.
I think not long after that, I got a client who paid me a year’s worth of my salary for working less than three days.
Well, my case was not typical. Here’s what usually happens:
Welcome to Nigeria Private Secondary Schools
- You teach multiple subjects. A friend was teaching maths and physics. Always in class screaming out his soul. What you studied matters less. You’ll see a physics teacher who also teaches government. A commerce teacher who also teaches religion. Don’t cringe. It’s normal. As a side note, the Nigeria Government is working to regulate this.
- You are always mandated to prepare lesson notes, lesson plans, give and mark assignments, participate in extra activities, and sit through shitty boring meetings where you are reduced to command-taking robots. A typical teacher can’t cope with all the workload. So, he has to take work home.
- They have different regulations for teachers. Movement is restricted. Some schools have dress codes and codes binding staff-staff, staff-student, and staff-management relationships. This is typical of any workplace. Understandable.
Despite all these, they pay you like a pauper, like a beggar. Worse, they owe you for several months.
The school I taught didn’t owe, but they delayed pay without notice, remorse, or apology.
You get paid not because it’s your right. But a privilege. Isn’t it absurd? You get it or you don’t, just shut the f**ck up.
I know a guy who worked in a school that paid him 15k naira a month. His transportation to and from work was 7k a month. He quit after 3 months. The school called and threatened him with a lawsuit for quitting in the middle of the session. You can only laugh at such idiosyncrasies.
But it’s real.
This is Nigeria. A country with over 200 million people. We are not the most populated in the world, but 33.3% of those are jobless. Each year, millions of graduates go into the labour market with nothing.
There’s too much rant already, so I’ll just end this piece here.
Peace.
